Hi Alan,

So nice to meet you at the recent Deep Meet and Greet! I'd love to be friends ;-)

Hi Alan - We just starting being friends, sent each other a response and then, you stopped.  Hope I have not offended you nor frightened you off?  I'm simply looking for friends here willing to go into the depths of our human experiences and conditions.

You have great library information I was so looking forward to you sharing with me.  Also hope all is well in your world.  I have been waiting to engage in shared conversations about the Numinous - our group is not very active nor forthcoming.  Speechless stuff, vulnerability disclosing, no words for feelings [Alexithymia]; so I opened up a Blog - Photopoetic Megamomentaries and I hope someone with converse with me in the sharing.        Peace + Love Linda

Thanks Alan! 

Hi Alan - I have not read Grotstein's writings about WR Bion's concept of "O," however, I have a Bibliotherapy book named "The Big O" which is out right now, being used by one client on a particular healing piece of work.  This book is so well written concerning "missing pieces" becoming one with oneself and the illustrations are fabulous.

My mid-life crisis, passage, shift, calling [age 35] began in 1983, during an annual baseball wind-up, while sitting in a rec room surrounded by my teammates, I felt totally alone, but not lonely - my first awareness of being in an existential moment - altered state.  My thought was "where have I been all my life and what planet was I on?  All was so surreal.  I had survived and moved on from my own near-death experiences [NDE's] and those six pack moments [5 light; 1 dark] were not my focus of attention nor concern.  

Fast-forward to the summer of 2013 and what I truly did want to know more about was this unbelievable, primitive and suspended alter state of myself, which I call my core that is my magical child within, this Ponyrider, full of child-like awe/wonder and despite my life experiences remains in a perpetual state of naive innocence.

For me, I did not want to go on a quest to find my soul, I wanted to go back to commune with this deep state within, my sense of my true self [creation] at my core....and this is where I have been......I symbolically drew my core in the winter of 1999 [2 years after my PhD process] and have kept this image within my view in my writing space.....my moments looking at this mirror reflection of my core sense of self as representing in this art piece, gazing upon my Ponyrider photo and trusting that going back to my birth, 1st NDE experience [that state] provided me with all I truly needed to know.  I remain a child of the universe who presented at birth as a footling breech delivery in the midst of a mother/child NDE and to save our lives, we were packed in ice.

I continue to contemplate the mysteries of the Arctic and am drawn to the video Bonnie has placed.....I believe next week more will be revealed to me for my 50th anniversary of entering the helping professions is on the horizon and I will know soon if I can remain [stay safe] working within or simply take leave from the "official" helping professions knowing I reached and am a Golden Oldie.  Have a great day.  Peace + Love Linda 

of my being at my core which I now know and refer to as my first "rude awakening" and by the summer of 2013, this is what I learned:

occured

Hi Alan - I have been on a DPA site break for awhile [good suggestion from Bonnie] and now I'm back....it is good to connect in friendship based on the relating/sharing of numinous experiences.   I welcome your hand in virtual friendship.  Is there any particular aspect you related to most?  Wishing you peace, joy during this upcoming festive season. Peace + Love Linda  

Hi Alan. Adding my welcome to Brent's. Thanks for the kind words. Nice to have you here.