I always thought the animus (or anima, if you're a man) was some random archetype of the opposite sex that you expressed the most. Now I wonder...
I figured my animus was Hermes because I have several Hermes-like traits, even though I feel nothing for him and he never appears in any active visualizations. By contrast, I have done a LOT of work with my inner Hades (who has a deep connection to my archetype, Persephone). So now I'm thinking... maybe our animus is actually the archetype, or archetypes, that our own archetype matches with romantically? Which would make sense, as those are the people with whom we can do the most spiritual work, and grow the most with. Perhaps we seek a romantic partner who is a manifestation of that inner animus to carry on the work with on a different level.
It just doesn't make sense that our animus would be so completely non-existent in our inner world, the way Hermes has been for me… And, now that I think of it, the stories that I find the most compelling are those about diffuse, lost women and chthonic men. So, like everything else in our lives, our reading (and movie watching) habits can help us understand what's going on inside us.
Also, if I'm right about this, then gay people might be "double souled;" that is they’d have both a male and female archetype... and matching animus/anima's. Which makes sense – in non-patriarchal societies gay people are generally considered special, sacred, like shamen. By living outside of the ordinary, day to day concerns of family they could work on larger issues. Having all those people inside them would certainly help with that!