For most of my life, I battled addiction, depression, and low self-esteem. In my 20’s, I spent a total of 16 months in silent retreat, including a month in darkness. I went to Burma twice to take temporary monastic vows and practice with the monks. I tried really hard to heal myself. Still, I was unfulfilled. I lacked discipline and was unable to keep up a practice on my own. I constantly fell back into patterns of misery.I was desperate. In my longing for happiness, I finally took the plunge into my first psychedelic experience with five tabs of LSD (the recommended starting dose is ~1 tab). Wow! What a shock to my psyche. For a long time, I thought psychedelics were “dangerous” and “bad.” I wrote them off as drugs for immature people. Now, I realized I’d been told a lie all along. As Terrence McKenna says, “psychedelics are illegal not because a loving government is concerned that you may jump out of a third story window. Psychedelics are illegal because they dissolve opinion structures and culturally laid down models of behavior and information processing. They open you up to the possibility that everything you know is wrong.” Soon after my LSD journey, I had my first experience with magic mushrooms, and my life has been transformed ever since. I’m honored to be called by the mushroom to serve as a humble messenger for the psilocybin vision of love, interconnectedness, and peace. I am happy to be able to serve those who are called to experience the magic. My job is to listen, hold space, practice patience, and love.
When I was 9, I took my mom’s side in her bitter divorce with my dad. I cut off contact with him, “the bad guy,” and didn’t see or speak with my dad for 25 years. While living with my mom, I was driven by fear of not being the perfect daughter. I didn’t want to cause my mom worry so I created a mental checklist for myself — be quiet (invisible when possible), study hard, go to college, get a good job, and get a steady boyfriend. I accomplished these things, but still felt incomplete. After college, I worked 16 years at a big organic cosmetics company trying to fit into the corporate world. My desires to be seen as a perfect daughter manifested themselves in my relationships with my bosses and co-workers. I became successful and started making a lot of money, but I knew the corporate world would never fulfill me. After realizing how much joy yoga and meditation brought in my life, I finally mustered up the courage to leave my high-paying job and started diving deeper into my practice. When I had my first psilocybin journey in Thailand, I felt I had discovered a miracle. The more journeys I have and the more people I guide through their own experiences, the more my heart opens to the beautiful and sad mystery of life. Magic truffles have helped me connect with mother earth and higher consciousness. They’ve helped me work through deep traumas. In my mind truffles are the healers and I am just their humble servant. My life is dedicated to creating safe, caring, and loving environments so people can experience the healing powers of magic psilocybin truffles.
David Van Nuys, PhD
Creator/Host of Shrink Rap Radio